Spot the Danger Signs

illustration-dangerHave you clicked on this page because you feel anxious or worried about your relationship with your partner or ex-partner? If so, you have taken an important and positive step and we hope we can support you.

If you feel you are in immediate danger, click here.

The 10 key signs of Intimate Relationship abuse

  1. They say they hate your friends and complain you spend too much time with them.
  2. They send you constant texts and get mad if you ignore them.
  3. They tell you how to dress and criticise your clothes.
  4. They make you feel guilty if you don’t spend all your free time with them.
  5. They have a bad temper and you feel afraid to disagree with them.
  6. They accuse you of cheating on them all the time.
  7. They demand all your passwords so they can check your messages.
  8. You feel afraid to break up with them because they say they’ll hurt themselves.
  9. They force you to do things sexually that you don’t want to do.
  10. They are physically violent or threaten to hurt you or someone else.


It’s important to note that this is not an exhaustive list when it comes to the signs of intimate relationship abuse. If you don’t recognise any of these signs but you still feel you may be in an abusive relationship please reach out to us.

You are not alone in feeling something isn't right with your relationship. Young women in intimate relationships contact Women's Aid every day because they are afraid of their partners.

You might feel like you are 'walking on eggshells' and living in fear of their mood swings and bad temper. But your partner does not have the right to control and abuse you. You should not have to worry about how they will react to everything you do. Intimate relationship abuse is wrong and no one deserves to be threatened, beaten or be in fear for their lives.

Maybe you feel that you are somehow to blame for the abuse. Your partner, and other people, may have told you that it is your fault. But that is not true. Your partner is the one responsible for the abuse, not you.

It can be difficult to talk about your situation, even to your closest family and friends. You may feel lonely and isolated. Maybe you have been told by your partner that they will hurt themselves or you if you tell someone. Perhaps you have told someone and they have told you just to break up, run, to walk away. But we know it is not always that easy.

It is important to focus on keeping yourself safe. You may find that talking to someone about your situation will help you to sort out what is happening in your relationship and what next steps you feel comfortable and safe with. Women's Aid understands how hard it is to make sense of what is happening to you. You can talk to us.

If you are concerned about your relationship take the TooIntoYou Relationship Quiz, learn how to protect yourself online or read the stories of others who have gone through the same thing..

If you would like to talk to someone in confidence please phone the Women’s Aid 24hr National Freephone Helpline 1800 341 900 or chat to us online.


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