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Young people’s relationship quiz reveals shocking trends in abusive behaviours, says Women’s Aid

  • The Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie, Women’s Aid’s website for young people, has been taken almost 20,000 times since it was launched in November 2022.
  • Quiz results reveals how abusive behaviours are very common and have become normalised for young people with the vast majority of respondents revealing serious experiences of physical, emotional and sexual abuse.
  • omen’s Aid launches a pop-up Valentine’s Shop experience in Dublin to inform young people about red flags of abuse as part of their #TooIntoYou awareness campaign. Experience is designed to start a conversation about healthy and unhealthy relationships and shine a light on unhealthy behaviours.

MEDIA RELEASE – Tuesday 14th February 2023: Women’s Aid, the national organisation supporting women subjected to intimate relationship abuse, says that unhealthy and abusive behaviours have become normalized according to recent results from the Relationship Quiz at toointoyou.ie, its website aimed at young people. The Relationship Quiz helps young people determine if their relationship is healthy or whether their partner displays behaviours that are unhealthy or abusive. 

The quiz has been taken almost 20,000 times since its launch in November 2022 and data shows that 15,887 respondents said that their partner has threatened to post explicit or intimate images or videos when they have a fight.   12,929 said their partner has hit them once and they’re afraid they will do it again. Shockingly, 12,667 said the person they’re going out always demands to look through their phone and to know all their passwords to everything, and 10,465 said their partner has forced or pressured them to do something sexual that they didn’t want to do. Women’s Aid has released the data as part of the launch of the #TooIntoYou Valentine’s Day awareness raising campaign on the red flags of abuse. 

Mary Hayes who leads the #TooIntoYou campaign explains that for many young people the red flags of abuse can be difficult to spot because they have become so normalised as part of young relationships:

 “We have seen some really shocking trends coming through in the #TooIntoYou Relationship Quiz. A common unhealthy behaviour we hear about from young people is when their partner demands to look through their phone and social media to see who they’ve been talking to. 12,667 quiz respondents said the person they’re going out with always goes through their phone and knows their passwords to everything. This is really worrying because it is an indication that their partner is trying to control who they talk to and doesn’t respect their privacy. Your partner demanding to look through your phone and knowing all your passwords is a common red flag of abuse. In young relationships it can be confusing because if this is seen as the norm, it sets a precedent for other unhealthy behaviours which can get worse and more dangerous over time.”

 Another trend around the sharing of intimate images came through in the results. 15,877 of respondents said that their partner has threatened to post explicit or intimate images or videosof themwhen they have a fight. This is particularly concerning because, not only is it illegal to threaten to share intimate images of someone without their consent, it indicates that coercive behaviour like this is incredibly common. A startling amount of people reported other serious unhealthy behaviours in their relationship with 10,465 respondents saying their partner has forced or pressured them to do something sexual that they didn’t want to do and 12,929 people said their partner has hit them once and are afraid they will do it again.

 Ms Hayes continues:

“If those behaviours continue to be brushed off as “not a big deal,” or excused as jealousy or insecurity then it creates a harmful picture of what young people should expect in their intimate relationships. It is essential that we call these behaviours out as abusive and unacceptable. So much of what young people understand about relationships is unhealthy. With our #TooIntoYou campaign we want young people to know what an unhealthy relationship looks like, so they are able to spot the red flags early on before things get more serious and they become isolated.”

To launch the #TooIntoYou campaign Women’s Aid is running their #TooIntoYou pop-up experience on Valentine’s Day at 2 Henry Street, Dublin 1. The space, inspired by the #LoveBetter campaign from One Love in the U.S., is designed to show that abuse can hide in relationships that seem romantic on the surface. 

 Ms Hayes explains the thinking behind the experience:

“The #TooIntoYou Valentine’s experience will disrupt young people’s understanding of what romance looks like and start a conversation about the red flags of abuse. In the space you will see common Valentine’s gifts like teddy’s, balloons, and chocolates which have been transformed to highlight the common red flags of relationship abuse. For example, red love-heart balloons with the messages ‘Let me see your phone’ and ‘Who were you with last night?’, and a GPS tacker disguised as a necklace. We hope that the space will make young people think twice about how they are treated in their intimate relationships and encourage them to reach out to us at toointoyou.ie if they need support.”

 Women’s Aid’s #TooIntoYou campaign will run from 14th February to International Women’s Day, 8th March. The campaign aims to teach young people about the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships and raise awareness of the supports for young people at the website toointoyou.ie 

Support for anyone affected: Women’s Aid 24hr National Freephone Helpline 1800 341 900, open seven days a week.

Instant Message Support Service on www.toointoyou.ie, open mornings and evenings, seven days a week.

ENDS

Campaign photos will be made available by Paul Sharp by 1pm, 13th February 2023 with embargo of 00.01 14th February 2023. Email paul@sharppix.ie or call 0866689087.

Press call at 10am to 10.30am on Tuesday 14th February 2023 at 2 Henry Street, Dublin 1. 

For more information contact Christina Sherlock on 0879192457or email christina.sherlock@womensaid.ie 

Notes for Producers/Researchers:

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